A Sealer's Power
Zhu Bajie: Man, these steamed buns are good. Get to eatin'! It's on me!
Zhu Bajie: Anyway, where were we...? Oh right, the big adventure. Yeah, so Sha Wujing and me were headin' out to find the relic.
Zhu Bajie: It was way off at the far edge of nowhere, and surrounded by fiends, to boot.
Zhu Bajie: But when we arrived, we met someone that you know all too well...
6 Months Post-departure Remote Mountains
Zhu Bajie: Is this Jiu Chi Dingba thing REALLY at the top of these mountains?
Sha Wujing: Who knows? Ah, but where is the joy in life without a few unexpected surprises?
Zhu Bajie: If we came all this way for nothing, I swear that I'm gonna... Huh?
Zhu Bajie: Someone's fightin' up ahead.
Xuan Zang: O power universal, hear my decree! With invisible admonitions and unshakable binding, strong and swift may you invoke your gift!
Xuan Zang: Hmm... At this rate, night will arrive before I reach the mountain's peak.
Zhu Bajie: She took out all those fiends... I've never seen a power like that!
Sha Wujing: Is that a relic you have there, my good lady? I must see it!
Xuan Zang: Who are you?!
Sha Wujing: That's the Feng Mu Jie Zhang, isn't it? I must know EVERYTHING ABOUT IT! How does it work? How do you wield it? Slake my thirst with your knowledge!
Zhu Bajie: Huh. If a relic can do that, maybe I was wrong to dismiss 'em so quick...
Xuan Zang: More fiends! Is there no end to this?
Zhu Bajie: Allow me—least I can do after you took out all of those fiends earlier. ...C'mere, you! Hah! Hah! Haaaaagh!
Sha Wujing: Ugh. This is taking FAR too long. I shall dispatch all of them at once!
Zhu Bajie: Uh oh. Hold your breath, lady!
Sha Wujing: How did you like my Poisonfeather Mist? Heh heh heh!
Zhu Bajie: You damn idiot! You almost paralyzed US!
Sha Wujing: But I didn't, so there's no need to pitch a fit.
Sha Wujing: HmmMMM... It seems my mist wasn't nearly as effective as I'd hoped on fiends. Clearly I have more work to do.
Zhu Bajie: Why do you sound so composed when all you've done is make 'em angrier?!
Xuan Zang: Hold your tongues, both of you! The fiends are about to attack!
...And that's how we first came to meet Xuan Zang. By the time we'd finished off the fiends, the sun had gone down.
Zhu Bajie: Okay, I think we can eat this, so... Damn it, Sha Wujing! Will you quit interrogating that lady already?!
Sha Wujing: But she's one of the legendary Qilin! They created the relics in the first place! I have so much I wish to ask her that my flesh QUIVERS with excitement!
Xuan Zang: This man's interest in relics borders on a dangerous obsession...
Xuan Zang: Incidentally, what brings the two of you to these mountains in the first place?
Zhu Bajie: (This lady said her job is sealing relics, so we probably don't want her finding out what we're REALLY doin' here...)
Sha Wujing: We work on weapon research and development in Taiwu, and the remote nature of this region makes it perfect for testing. ...Isn't that right, Zhu Bajie?
Zhu Bajie: Uh, yeaaah. I'm all about...um...research. But enough about the two of us— what are YOU doin' here?
Xuan Zang: I am returning from sealing a relic located at the top of this mountain.
Zhu Bajie: What?! So you mean we came all this damn way for... Oh crap.
Xuan Zang: I suspected that was your true purpose. Hear me well: There are many relics too dangerous for any human, and the Jiu Chi Dingba is one of them.
Xuan Zang: If you seek to obtain it, it is my duty as a sealer to stop you.
Zhu Bajie: Sorry, but I need that relic.
Zhu Bajie: As I see it, a person's worth is based on what they achieve in their lifetime.
Zhu Bajie: Well, during the recent rebellion in Taiwu, I tried to do something great. But the damn cowards who came with me all gave up, so it was nothin' but a big fat failure.
Xuan Zang: I've heard of this rebellion. Did it not end with the emperor changing his heart and the people being saved? I would think that an achievement worthy of respect.
Zhu Bajie: It ain't worthy of squat—not when we coulda done so much MORE.
Xuan Zang: And what, pray tell, does all of this have to do with my relic?
Zhu Bajie: I learned during the rebellion that no matter how high you aim, it's useless if the people you fight with don't have the stones to see it through.
Zhu Bajie: But if I have that relic, I don't need to rely on anyone—I can take on a whole damn army by myself! THAT'S how I'm gonna really achieve something!
Xuan Zang: I see. You believe that what matters most is what a person achieves during their life. In truth, this is a fine way of thinking.
Xuan Zang: However, what SPECIFIC goal will you seek to achieve with this relic? How do you wish to change the world?
Zhu Bajie: Ack! W-well, I... I mean...
Xuan Zang: Will without vision is just another kind of delusion. Your words SEEM reasonable, but all you really want is to play the hero.
Xuan Zang: I cannot permit someone like you to touch the relic. You must leave this place as soon as the dawn breaks.
Zhu Bajie: You really don't know me if you think I'm just gonna turn around and leave now, lady. Because lemme tell you—
Sha Wujing: She is right, Zhu Bajie. The relic would be wasted on you. We should go.
Zhu Bajie: What?!
Sha Wujing: I deeply apologize, my dear friend. I should never have put the idea into your sweaty noggin in the first place.
Sha Wujing: And yet, dear sealer, my friend here left his dear wife behind to come all this way. Could he not at least SEE the relic?
Xuan Zang: ...Very well. We depart for the peak as soon as the sun rises.
Sha Wujing: There now! That's better than nothing, is it not?
Zhu Bajie: I guess...
Xuan Zang: Zzz...
Zhu Bajie: You know, even when I know you're lying, your apologies are STILL creepy.
Sha Wujing: There's no time for banter! We must act before she wakes.
We hurried up the mountain as Xuan Zang slept, and when the new day dawned, we found the Jiu Chi Dingba embedded in rock inside a cave.
Sha Wujing: At last! ...HmmMMM. I must say, I did not expect it to look like an ordinary garden hoe.
Zhu Bajie: This thing was a real bear to pull out! You actually think it can summon forth winds and flames and all that?
Xuan Zang: It certainly can—and I fear it will bring about great tragedy if misused.
Zhu Bajie: Bah! How'd she catch up so fast?!
Xuan Zang: Give me the relic. Please.
Zhu Bajie: And if we refuse?
Xuan Zang: Then I will take it by force.
Zhu Bajie: Bwa ha ha ha! Just try it, lady! Hell, it'll give me the perfect chance to see just what this little baby can do.
Sha Wujing: You pernicious fool! If you summon wind and flame in narrow crack of a place like this, we will ALL be in grave danger!
Sha Wujing: Now stand aside and let my sweet Poisonfeather Mist win the day!
Xuan Zang: Ah! I must hold my breath!
Xuan Zang: ...Curses! That was a mere smoke bomb!
Zhu Bajie: Bwaaa ha ha! I bet she's feeling REAL dumb right about now!
Sha Wujing: Now the relic's finally ours— and I can't WAIT to try it out.
With the relic in our hands, we set off for the northern continent—unaware of the tragedy that could have been avoided if we had just handed it over to Xuan Zang...
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