Beautiful Synergy
Beautician Zardin: The time has finally come for the 313th "Most Beautiful Me" contest! Up first is...me! And next, we have...me in a mirror! But which is the fairest? Who is the TRUE paragon of beauty? Hm? It's a draw, you say? Ha ha! Marvelous!
Hopeless Narcissist - Zardin
Ranzal: Man... I dunno how you can do that 313 times an' not get tired of it.
Euden: What inspired the change of attire, Zardin?
Beautician Zardin: Ah, but the man before you is not the Zardin you once knew. Nay, he is now a beautician!
Ranzal: "Bootician"...? Like a shoe doctor or somethin'?
Beautician Zardin: BEAUtician, my good fellow. 'Tis a most elegant profession, tasked with bringing out the beauty sealed in every soul. Naturally I have already ascended to the highest heights of beauty—but with this new charge, I shall climb even higher! Now, let's get started!
Elisanne: ...I am afraid you've lost me.
Cleo: Likewise. You have only explained what a beautician DOES, and even that was somewhat murky. How exactly do you think making others more beautiful will elevate yourself?
Beautician Zardin: It's all in the synergy, my dear!
Ranzal: ...Huh?
Beautician Zardin: My beauty is already perfection itself. The question of whether I can grow even more beautiful enters a hitherto unknown realm of knowledge. I ruminated so extensively on how to transcend my current limits, I perfected a beautiful contemplative visage in the process. And then, I was struck by an epiphany! I must make others more comely! Thus would their beauty amplify my own, making me more handsome still.
Elisanne: I don't think I follow.
Beautician Zardin: 'Tis but a theory, of course, but is that not how all facts are born? No doubt others have tried and failed spectacularly, but none were as beautiful as I. So come! Let us ascend together to new plains of beauty!
Euden: W-wait, where are you taking us?!
Beautician Zardin: Single file, please...
Beautician Zardin: Perfect. Let us begin!
Euden: Uh... What do we do now?
Beautician Zardin: We shall start with the basics. Here, rub this gel on your faces. Massage it in small circles—excellent. Gently does it.
Cleo: Oh! It's cold, but also quite refreshing.
Beautician Zardin: All finished? Lovely. Now come the exercises! When I call out an expression, you must produce it as beautifully as possible! First: a smile!
Elisanne: L-like this?
Beautician Zardin: Splendid. Now, look troubled!
Ranzal: That ain't hard, in a situation like this...
Beautician Zardin: Not bad, not bad. Finally, give me your portrait face!
Euden: This is the expression I made when the portrait artist came to the castle... What do you think?
Beautician Zardin: YES! Marvelous! Now rotate through all three, one per second, a hundred times!
Cleo: We are not a comedy troupe! I refuse.
Beautician Zardin: Hmph. Very well. On to the next activity, so! More gel for everyone. Make sure you rub it in well!
Ranzal: My face feels like someone sneezed all over it...
Beautician Zardin: Massage it in deep, and visualize yourself beautified! Ruuuuuub rub rub!
Euden: This... Aha ha! ...Tickles.
Beautician Zardin: As it should. Now, repeat the same process ten thousand times!
Elisanne: PARDON?!
Beautician Zardin: Beauty does not come easy. But with diligence and determination, you may one day shine slightly dimmer than myself. The steps you just practiced are all part of my daily beauty routine. Simple, no?
Elisanne: Anything BUT!
Beautician Zardin: Goodness, such an angry look does no favors for your complexion.
Elisanne: My patience is at its end, Zardin. This routine may work for you, but it is naught but wasted time for the rest of us.
Cleo: Yes, and I have to think using this much gel is a waste of money, too.
Ranzal: How's this bringin' out our inner beauty, anyhow? All yer doin' is makin' my face hurt. Didja even think this through?
Beautician Zardin: I...
Euden: Guys, I think that might've been a bit harsh...
Beautician Zardin: Such BEAUTY!
Euden: Huh?
Beautician Zardin: I have somehow grown even MORE beautiful in realizing my mistakes! Yes, I can see the road before me now... I shall perfect my skills as a beautician, and aid all who heed my call!
Ranzal: ...Is this guy even safe to have around?
Beautician Zardin: With this outfit and my unmatched resolve, I can unlock ANYONE'S true beauty! I must get to work. Farewell, my students! Ah, and do remember to wash away the gel when you're finished. Ta ta!
Elisanne: His ego is...wow.
Cleo: In any case, let's wash this gel off. I wonder if he really will become the beautician he aspires to be...
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