|I Never Miss
Fritz: Ladieeeees and geeeeentlemen! Prepare for a magical, mystical, MARVELOUS circus unlike anything you've ever seen before!
Circus Dagger Wielder Fritz
Fritz: Forget your worldly cares and let us welcome you to a world of dreams! But first, I—Fritz the Magnificent—will dazzle you with my splendiferous dagger-throwing skills!
Ranzal: Those targets are miles away! Is he seriously gonna hit 'em?
Euden: He does seem to be throwing from a fair distance further than normal.
Fritz: No matter the target or the situation, I never miss what I set my eyes on. Now watch as I hit yonder moving targets...with my eyes closed!
Ranzal: No WAY he pulls this off!
Euden: Oh, I think he will.
Cleo Quiet, you two! He's ready.
Fritz: Hah! Ho! Hiyaa!
Ranzal: SWEET CRISPY CARP! HE DID IT!
Fritz: Next, I shall take requests from the audience on what targets to hit. Please, do not be shy. Speak up!
Ranzal: Oooo! Me, me! Pick me!
Cleo: You are SUCH a child sometimes.
Fritz: I thank you most humbly for your requests. I will now address them in order. First, we have...
Fritz: Thank you all for attending our show today. We look forward to having you again!
Euden: That was great, Fritz!
Fritz: Hey, guys. Didn't know you were watching.
Euden: Yeah—and what a show it was!
Ranzal: I can't believe ya hit movin' targets what with yer eyes shut. It blew my MIND!
Fritz: Heh. That was nothing. You should—
???: That was the worst circus imaginable!
Female Attendee: I've half a mind to demand compensation! I am the daughter of a marquis, and yet was forced to mingle in the same area as some pack of slack-jawed plebeians! A circus this shameless should go out of business and make the world better for it!
Ranzal: Damn, SOMEONE woke up on the wrong side of the world this mornin'. Want me to tell her where to cram it?
Fritz: No, I can handle this.
Euden: Wait, Fritz!
Fritz: I deeply apologize for the distress our humble troupe caused you, madam.
Female Attendee: Pfft! Are you that dagger-throwing buffoon? You SHOULD be sorry! What kind of circus doesn't know how to treat nobility properly? A third-rate one, that's what!
Fritz: If I might be permitted an explanation, my lady, there is a reason for our actions.
Female Attendee: Oh, this had better be good.
Fritz: To me, you are as a star that shines high in the evening sky. The worlds we live in are so different that ordinarily I would not even be permitted to gaze upon your beauty as I am now. But when this once-in-a-lifetime chance presented itself, I knew I had to show you the finest show from as close as possible! Furthermore, as I felt myself to be performing for you alone, I wished to gaze upon your legendary beauty as I did so. As the box seats reserved for royalty are far removed from the stage, my plan simply would not have been possible with you in the more common seats.
Female Attendee: What? Y-you were looking at me? But...you couldn't possibly see me well from the stage...
Fritz: Ah, but I did. For you see, your beauty burned more brightly than even the lights which illuminate our grand stage. Still, I cannot more deeply regret the distress and unhappiness my selfish actions caused you. If you had enjoyed our show as I wanted, I had hoped to one day perform in your mansion or other palatial abode. But I see now that was never an honor a third-rate performer like myself deserved. Still, if I may ask one more favor before we forever part ways, might I at least be permitted to see you off as an apology?
Female Attendee: Before we forever part ways?! No, I... No! You must not go! In truth, thought your show was simply wonderful! I was just, uh, too proud to admit I enjoyed it so much. I would LOVE to have you come perform for me!
Fritz: If that is your wish, my lovely lady, then I shall see it done. You will not regret your decision! I will take you to a world beyond your wildest imaginings! By the time I am finished, you won't want to return to the real world.
Female Attendee: Eee! I cannot wait!
Euden: Wow. He's REALLY good at this.
Ranzal: If he butters her up any more, they can sell her as popcorn.
Fritz: Ha! Score one more performance for us! ...Hmm? What's up, you two?
Euden: We're just...stunned.
Ranzal: I'd rather keel over than say that kinda stuff to some rich snob!
Fritz: Ha! But you heard me at the start of the show, right? No matter the target or the situation, I never miss what I set my eyes on. That goes for the audience's hearts, as well.
Fritz: Anyway, I'd better go tell the others the good news. See you back at the castle, Euden!
Euden: Er, yes, of course... He really meant what he said at the beginning.
Ranzal: Sure seems like it.