The Emperor's Job Hunt
Gala Emile: So, um...Waterwyrm.
Mercury: Yes?
Gala Emile: Find me some work.
Mercury: Is that how you speak to a dragon such as myself? Find your own work.
Gala Emile: But you're the one who said I had to work! You cannot simply leave me figuratively dead in the water after that.
Mercury: I can and will. In fact, I already rescued you from drowning once, and even went so far as to procure clothes for you to disguise yourself.
Mercury: The rest is up to you.
Gala Emile: Damn you, you heartless pactwyrm! Er, or ex-pactwyrm, I suppose.
Gala Emile: Everyone keeps telling me to work, but where am I even supposed to start?
Emile: You there! Lickspittle! Where are all of my new soldiers?!
Commander: I'm afraid we had far fewer volunteers than we'd hoped for, Your Majesty. Er, and we also don't appear to have the budget to increase our armaments either.
Gala Emile: Of course! That's it! I just have to "volunteer" my amazing services!
Gala Emile: Well then, haste makes waste, so Operation: Get a Job begins now!
Gala Emile: Rejoice, peon! I, the great Emperor Emile, have decided to work in your employ!
Innkeeper: You still on about that emperor business? You're an adult, friend—best quit playing pretend and join us in the real world.
Gala Emile: Why, you insolent little... I AM the one true emperor, you dolt! By all rights, you should be the one serving me!
Innkeeper: You've got some serious attitude for a fella what can't even pay his bill. But I've been hurting for staff lately, so if you really wanna work it off, I won't complain.
Innkeeper: Think you can handle the reception desk? 'Cause if so, I need you there pronto.
Gala Emile: I merely check people in? Child's play! Come round, travelers, and let your jaws slacken at the fact the great Emile has prepared rooms for you all!
Innkeeper: Oh boy...
Gala Emile: You've done well to come to the great Emperor Emile's inn! Rejoice, for I have prepared a fine room for you at a very reasonable discount!
Traveler: Thanks for that, frie—HEY! What part of this qualifies as a reasonable discount?! I can't even count all these zeroes!
Gala Emile: You dare complain about a price the emperor chose for you?! A man has to make money somehow, you know!
Traveler: Like I give a crap about your wallet! This is a total rip-off, and you know it!
Gala Emile: How dare you speak that way to an emperor! Now pay that bill before I have you dragged off to the gallows!
Traveler: EEEEEEK!
Innkeeper: What the hell do you think you're doing?!
Gala Emile: Stupid little ingrate... I was TRYING to help the man!
Innkeeper: You're clearly not cut out for the kind of work I do here—and possibly not any kind—so it's time for you to go ply your trade somewhere else.
Innkeeper: Still, I know you tried in your own way, so I'll give you more time to pay off what you owe to me.
Gala Emile: He thinks he's doing ME a favor? Ha! But fine, then. I'll just find another job.
Boutique Owner: I'm sorry, but I don't think you're the right fit for this job.
General Store Owner:Got no time for folks what don't have experience. Go bother someone else.
General Store Owner:Do you even know HOW to wash a dish, you useless clod?!
Gala Emile: I can't believe this... I haven't managed to make a single rupie!
Gala Emile: These people must be blind to not see how I overflow with talent and potential! Why, it oozes out of me! OOZES, I say!
Gala Emile: ......
Emile's Subordinate A: Guy's pactbound dragon bailed on him, and then the brother he thought was a huge chump waxed the floor with him. Woof! Talk about your rough days.
Emile's Subordinate B: How come we get saddled with a lousy commander like that? Hell, I'll take a traitor prince over a loser prince any day!
Gala Emile: It seems I'm a loser here as well...
Gala Emile: Oh, blast it all! Why do I have to be hungry at a time like this?!
Young Painter: Do you need something to eat, sir?
Gala Emile: And just who are you?
Young Painter: I was painting over there when I heard you talking to yourself.
Young Painter: Here. You can have half of my sandwich.
Gala Emile: You think to show ME charity? What manner of chump do you take me for?!
Young Painter: Oh! Um, right. Sorry about that. It's fine if you don't want any.
Gala Emile: Well, I suppose I can appreciate the guts it takes to offer your own food to someone of my caliber, so...gimme.
Gala Emile: *munch* *slurp* *snorf* *gulp* Goodness! That was amazing.
Young Painter: Ha ha! Wow, you really WERE hungry!
Woman: Excuse me. Is this painting for sale?
Young Painter: Yes, of course! ...Sorry, sir, but I have to get going. Business calls!
Gala Emile: ......
Woman: Would this be enough?
Young Painter: Oh, certainly! Thank you very much!
Gala Emile: (That dreck is making money? ...Wait. Wait a second. I can work with this!)
Gala Emile: You there! Hand over your art supplies!
Young Painter: B-but they're the tools of my trade, sir!
Gala Emile: The people's possessions are my possessions also! Now quit your whinging and fork 'em over!
Young Painter: No, wait! Ugh, what a pushy little man...
Gala Emile: ...Now THAT'S what I call a painting!
Gala Emile: You there! Put this painting up with your other paintings for sale—and be certain to display it in the front!
Young Painter: Huh?
Gala Emile: That's an order, peasant!
Elder: Oh, how stunning!
Gala Emile: Hmm?
Elder: Such fine touches! Such bold composition! I've never seen such a vivacious picture of the sea before. You absolutely must sell it to me!
Gala Emile: Y-you'll really buy it?
Elder: Freely and gladly! You have a gift, my boy, and I would love to come by again once you paint another.
Gala Emile: I sold it...and even better, someone actually praised my work!
Gala Emile: THIS is how I'll raise the money I need! Time to paint like the wind!
A few days later
Innkeeper: That about covers your little stay. You really made a killing out there.
Innkeeper: Your paintings are the talk of the town.
Gala Emile: Oh, that was nothing for someone so handsome and talented as I. Now good day to you, innkeep!
Gala Emile: FREE AT LAST!
Gala Emile: Here I thought this place was a right cesspool of humanity, yet there are so many who appreciate the fine arts!
Gala Emile: Saint Lotier has risen in the ranks now that it has acknowledged the value of my paintings! It is now less of a cesspool and more of a...cesspuddle.
Mercury: It seems you're finally starting to understand how wonderful this place is.
Gala Emile: Mercury?! Why are YOU still here?!
Mercury: I've been keeping watch to make certain you didn't turn tail and flee.
Mercury: Do you know why there are so many people in Saint Lotier who love and appreciate the fine arts, Emile?
Gala Emile: Because a bunch of people with good taste flocked here?
Mercury: No. It is because Zacharias has brought and maintained peace in this land.
Mercury: Peace allows people to do more than just survive—it allows them to thrive and appreciate the finer things in life.
Gala Emile: Wait. But that would mean...
Gala Emile: Are you saying the reason no one ever appreciated my talents was because my country was in disarray?
Mercury: If the empire had been peaceful, your talents might very well have been lauded.
Mercury: Everything hinges now on what you feel, and how you act upon those feelings. So then, what will you do?
Gala Emile: You say people will start to appreciate me if the country is more peaceful, sooo...
Mercury: Emile?
Gala Emile: SO BE IT! As emperor, I will see to it that my nation is the most peaceful anywhere!
Mercury: Wait, Emile! It won't be that simple! ...Oh, there he goes again—and still as selfish as ever, sadly.
Mercury: However, he HAS grown, even if by a little.
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