The Infinite Power of Cuteness
Girl: *sniffle* *sob*
Bandit Leader: Cry all ya want, little miss! Ain't nobody gonna swoop in and save ya.
Bandit Leader: Yer fate's been sealed since ya laid eyes on us doin' our work, y'see. Can't have you runnin' around squawkin' our secrets.
Girl: *sob* Chitose... Help me...
Bandit Leader: Chitose? That eyesore of a kid? Put a fork in 'im, 'cause he's done for. He ain't comin', no matter how much ya wail.
Bandit Leader: And now, I's gonna send ya right along to meet yer precious little Chitose in heaven! DIE!
Girl: Noooooo!
Chitose: It won't be that easy, I'm afraid!
Chitose: In this world, evil never pays, and cuteness always prevails!
Chitose: Hark, for I am justice, adorned with a bow! No river nor valley can stand in my way! Now, cease your villainy, you...villains!
Girl: Chitose!
Bandit Leader: Still alive, huh? Pretty dumb move to come here alone! Get 'im, boys!
Bandits: He's ours!
Chitose: HIIIII-YAH!
Bandits: Damn you! But give it up— yer completely outnumbered!
Chitose: *pant* I'm not done yet!
Chitose: *wheeze* It's like I kicked a beehive! There's no end to this swarm of jerks!
Bandit Leader: Hmph. If you plant that sweet little face'a yours at our feet and beg forgiveness, I'm willin' to kill you quickly!
Chitose: You got another thing coming if you think I'm gonna be begging for mer—GWAAAH!
Bandits: Bah ha ha! Ya talk a mean game, but yer just a little punk! Now, say yer prayers!
Chitose: Huh? Wha—no!
Bandits: Gah! What was that?!
Vice: *sigh* You call this buying time? Shoulda let me do it. Just barely got here in time.
Chitose: Vice! You made it!
Vice: Obviously. I'm a consummate professional. I've got the whole gang here. Now, sic 'em, folks!
Townspeople: Yeah! Let's go, everyone! Let's save Chitose!
Bandits: Eyagh! Who the hell are all these punks?!
Chitose Fan 1: Oh, y'know, just diehard Chitose fans!
Chitose Fan 2: Yeah! We'll protect Chitose's radiance!
Bandit Leader: Urk... What the HELL is goin' on here?! Hurry up and DO something, you lot!
Bandit 1: We can't, boss! Th-there're so many folks squirmin' around that we can't move!
Bandit 2: The hell?! Chitose's FANS?!
Chitose: Hee hee hee! The power of my cuteness is the most magnetic force in the world! Surely even you can feel it, no? *wink*
Bandit Leader: The hell kinda new age crap're you spoutin'?! You got a screw loose, kid! I don't care how many peasants you dredge up, I've still got the girl—
Bandit Leader: What?! Sh-she's gone?! HEY! MINIONS! Where's the damn girl?!
Chitose: Vice saved her while you were focused on the townspeople.
Chitose: And now, it's time for you to pay the piper! Be a good boy and let us tie you up, 'kay?
Bandit Leader: Grrr! Shut the hell up! You think I'm just gonna roll over like a damn dog?!
Chitose: Oooh, watch out, folks. We've got a tough guy here. I guess that means you're DYING to see my trump card! Prepare to be dazzled!
Townspeople: Everybody, we can't just stand here! We gotta support Chitose, too!
Townspeople: Chitose, Chitose, he's our man! If he can't do it, no one can! You're so cute it makes us blush! Turn this jerk's face into mush!
Chitose: I get my own cheer? Score! All right, let's do this! Time to break some boundaries!
Chitose: Here! I! Gooooo!
Bandit Leader: ...Huh?
Bandit Leader: Whaaat? The...wall? Huh? The wall's...gone?
Chitose: Tee hee. Who needs a wrecking ball when I'm around?
Chitose: I believe in my cuteness, and my fans do, too. And that makes me invincible! *beam*
Bandit Leader: I don't get it, but... Urgh. We totally lost.
Bandit Leader: Total defeat...by the power of cuteness...
Girl: Chitose?!
Chitose: Are you okay? I was so worried!
Girl: Yeah. I'm okay because I believed in you! Thank you for saving me.
Girl: You really are amazing, Chitose. I want to be just like you.
Girl: I hope I can be as cute as you someday.
Chitose: You absolutely can!
Girl: Really?
Chitose: Yeah. Just so long as you believe in your own cuteness—your own feelings.
Chitose: I'm living proof of that. I decided that no matter what other people expected from me, I'd always be true to myself when I grew up—my unique, adorable self.
Chitose: All you need to do is listen to your heart. If you do, I'm sure you'll be giving even me a run for my money one of these days! Because cuteness is what? Justice! *wink*
Girl: Okay! I'll use you as a role model and learn everything there is to know! You know why, Vice? Because cuteness is justice! *wink*
Vice: Ugh, I hear that enough coming from THIS guy. Don't point your love beams or whatever at me, too.
Girl: You're such a party pooper, Vice! You really don't see Chitose's appeal?
Vice: Dunno. More importantly, if we're done here, let's escort the people back to town. All right, folks, time to go!
Girl: Booo.
Vice: Phew, what a relief. They didn't find out.
Vice: I can never tell them how I got swept up in the moment and started cheering along with the crowd...
Some time later, in Hinomoto...
Chitose: And that's my report, Lady Mitsuhide. The exchange with Alberia is going well, and the girl I saved is doing even better.
Mitsuhide: Nice work. I knew I was right to put you in charge of networking with other nations.
Chitose: Hee hee. I couldn't have done it without you, Lady Mitsuhide.
Mitsuhide: Uh, how do you figure?
Chitose: I mean...
Mitsuhide: Lemme just say this: becoming an adult doesn't mean letting go of who you are.
Mitsuhide: What got you so hung up on the idea that you'd suddenly lose your cuteness upon growing up?
Chitose: If you hadn't talked some sense into me, I would have given up on being cute.
Chitose: It's no exaggeration to say that my cuteness diplomacy's success and the little girl's rescue are all thanks to you, Lady Mitsuhide.
Mitsuhide: I said that stuff? Huh. Well, I'm glad. Y'know, that you can still be cute and all.
Chitose: Yeah! And that's why I'm gonna keep busting my cute little butt to repay the favor!
Chitose: No matter the task, just leave it to me: your #1 most adorable ambassador!
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