But I Want You to Be Happy...
Valentine's Chelsea: Ta-dah! Here's your present, Luccy. Spoiler: it's a sweater!
Valentine's Chelsea: It's got your name on it...AND mine! I tried to make it really classy. Artistic-like, you know?
Valentine's Chelsea: Ta-daaah! Here's your gift for today, Luccy. I drew our storybook love into a literal storybook!
Valentine's Chelsea: It starts with our meeting and goes all the way up to when we're buried side-by-side in a shared grave! Oops, more spoilers!
Valentine's Chelsea: Ta-daaaaah! Here's today's haul, Luccy! The armoire in your room was getting old, so I had a new one custom-built for you!
Valentine's Chelsea: Too big? Don't be silly! With all our kids on the way, we'll need at LEAST this much storage to keep everything squared away.
Luca: *siiiiiiigh*
Luca: (Well, Chelsea DID listen to me about only giving inanimate objects as presents...)
Luca: (But it's EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. And each one's more expensive and labor-intensive than the last.)
Luca: (I can tell she's put a ton of thought into each and every one, but...that's kinda the problem. It's terrifying.)
Luca: (I keep looking over my shoulder, bracing for the next "token of affection.")
Chelsea: LUCCY!
Luca: Eagh! She's back again! I've gotta hide!
Chelsea: Hmmmmm? Are you out and about? Luuuccy! Oh, Luuuuuccy!
Luca: (Hold your breath... Erase your presence... Just another minute, and she'll—)
Chelsea: *sniff* *sniff* *sniffffff* Target acquired.
Luca: ?!
Chelsea: I know you're iiiiin there, Luccy! Open the door. Open the door, sweetie. Open it. Open the door OPEN THE DOOR—
Luca: *gasp* Hrk... I'm not! I'm not here!
Chelsea: I know what's going on here, Luccy. The door's stuck and you're trapped inside. But don't you worry...
Chelsea: I'll pry it open with my crowbar of love.
Luca: Chelsea?! GAH! The door's in splinters!
Chelsea: There we go, Luccy. I knew you were in here, silly.
Chelsea: Your Chelsea is riiiight here!
Luca: IN ILIA'S NAME I PRAY, SPARE MEEE!
Valentine's Chelsea: *sigh...*
Sarisse: What's wrong, Chelsea?
Valentine's Chelsea: Oh! Sarisse. Well, it's about yesterday...
Valentine's Chelsea: —and then he let out the CUTEST blood- curdling scream and fainted on the spot.
Sarisse: I see. Luca can be so insensitive at times! What kinda dunderhead freaks out when someone's only trying to give you a gift?
Valentine's Chelsea: I wanted to make him happy, not scared...
Sarisse: Hmmm... So you're trying to think of a present that'll brighten his spirits, huh?
Sarisse: Maybe something normal would work best. He's a pretty simple-minded guy.
Sarisse: What about making some food for him? Like, some sweets would make an easy gift.
Valentine's Chelsea: You think? I'd been avoiding food, seeing as I already make him meals all the time.
Sarisse: No need to worry about that. There's no way a gift that timeless'll go over his head!
Valentine's Chelsea: If you think Luccy will love it, then I'm in.
Sarisse: Great! Mind if I join you in the kitchen? Melsa and I are doing a sweets exchange!
Sarisse: You're a total cooking whiz, so I'd love to have you there to help if I get stuck.
Valentine's Chelsea: You really want to bake with me?!
Valentine's Chelsea: (Oh gosh, I'm freaking out! But once Luccy and I are married, she'll be my little sis...)
Valentine's Chelsea: Y'know? I'd love to help, Sarisse! Both today, and for many, MANY years to come.
Sarisse: Uh... Okay? As long as you don't mind!
Sarisse: Now, what to make... Got anything in mind yet, Chelsea?
Valentine's Chelsea: I'm going with apple pie! Luccy just LOVES apples.
Sarisse: Aha ha ha! I figured you'd say that. His taste buds are gonna be in heaven.
Sarisse: Now, as for me... I should probably make something holiday-appropriate.
Sarisse: The problem is, I'm just not that familiar with Valentine's Day. It's a human thing.
Valentine's Chelsea: How about, um... Rose cookies?
Valentine's Chelsea: Roses are a traditional Valentine's gift, so I think that should be plenty suitable.
Sarisse: Huh! Great idea, Chelsea! I knew you were the right girl to ask about this kinda stuff.
Valentine's Chelsea: Oh, uh... Gosh! Ha ha. You're making me blush. Glad I could help!
Sarisse: For a sylvan, you sure are an expert on this human holiday.
Valentine's Chelsea: Yeah, I guess so. When I was little, I lived with my mom and dad in a human village, see.
Valentine's Chelsea: We used to give each other Valentine's presents every year—as a family.
Sarisse: That's really sweet. You must have so many happy holiday memories, then.
Valentine's Chelsea: Yeah. It's a special day for me. That's why I really wanna make it memorable for Luccy, too.
Sarisse: Awww, my brother is SO spoiled. Right— let's cram all our love into these suckers!
Sarisse: And...done! Ha ha! I hope Melsa likes it.
Sarisse: How'd your apple pie come out? Whoa, that looks amazing! It's got a perfectly golden crust, and that smell? HEAVENLY.
Valentine's Chelsea: No... It's a failure.
Sarisse: Huh?
Valentine's Chelsea: It's burned here and there. Plus, the dome didn't rise high enough.
Valentine's Chelsea: Valentine's Day is special. The pie has to be special, too!
Sarisse: Er, Chelsea...? Don't tell me you're going to start again from scratch?
Valentine's Chelsea: Another dud. The ratio of apple filling to crust was totally skewed.
Sarisse: You're starting over AGAIN? But it looks delicious...
Valentine's Chelsea: Nope... This one's flawed too. Too much cinnamon this time.
Sarisse: You DO know it's almost midnight, right? How many pies have you gone through?
Valentine's Chelsea: Another-nother-nother-nother-nother dud... One more time!
Sarisse: Zzz...zzz...
Valentine's Chelsea: I'll keep going till I've got the perfect apple pie. No matter how many tries it takes.
The next morning...
Valentine's Chelsea: Another dud... A failure... One more... Just one more...try... *mumble*
Luca: *yaaawn* Mmm, something sure smells good. What's cookin'?
Luca: Whoa! It's apple pies as far as the eye can see! Talk about a breakfast buffet. Let's have a taste... *HOMPH!*
Valentine's Chelsea: GYAAAH! LUCCY, NO! You can't eat that! It's not... It's not...!
Valentine's Chelsea: It has a whole half-pinch too much sugar, the fire was two kindling twigs too hot, and the egg wash only hit 99.9%! It's not food!
Luca: Mm? This... This is AMAZING!
Valentine's Chelsea: Bwuh?
Luca: Oh, hey, Chelsea. Did you bake this? Girl, you could WEAPONIZE pie this good!
Valentine's Chelsea: You... You like it? You're happy, Luccy? Even though my pie is totally garbage-tier?
Luca: What are you talking about? This is a fantastic present. I love it.
Luca: (And unlike all the others, I don't feel a crushing weight bearing down on me...but that's a little hard to say to her face.)
Valentine's Chelsea: Eee... EEE HEE HEE HEE HEE! This is great. Stupendous, even!
Valentine's Chelsea: My Luccy's a bona fide pie-niac! I just have to bake until the cows come home!
Valentine's Chelsea: Sorry it took me this long to figure out what you wanted, sweetie. Thank you, Sarisse! Thank you, Valentine's Day!
Valentine's Chelsea: From now on, I'll bake you desserts for all three meals, plus afternoon and midnight snacks!
Valentine's Chelsea: Ooh, I'd better get started planting the apple orchard for next year! The wheat field for the flour I'll need, too.
Luca: Uh, you REALLY don't have to do all that.
Valentine's Chelsea: EeE HeE hEe HeE! Eventually, your entire diet will consist of nothing but food I've lovingly grown from the ground up!
Valentine's Chelsea: Just you wait, Luccy!
Luca: Ah, yes. There's that old, familiar terror setting in again.
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