Cooking Class
Botan: Hey, Cleo! Teach me how to cook!
Cleo: Erm...
Botan: Aw, c'mon! I made soba for everyone before, remember?
Cleo: How could I forget? *cough*
Botan: Okay, yeah, I know that was terrible. But I can get better! C'mon, don't let me wander through life having everyone think of me as the lady who almost accidentally poisoned them. Take all your cooking knowledge and skills and smush 'em into my brain!
Cleo: Oh, very well. Our first lesson will be a gratin.
Botan: I have no idea what that is, but OKAY!
Cleo: First, thinly slice onions and potatoes.
Botan: Get ready for PAIN, onion! Hah! Hah! AAAAUGH MY EYES! I CAN'T SEEEEEE!
Cleo: I asked you to thinly slice the onions. Those are chunks. GENEROUS chunks.
Botan: Yeah, so? They're way more fun to eat this way! Crunch for days!
Cleo: Please slice them thinly. The pieces will never cook all the way through otherwise.
Botan: Ooooooh! THAAAAAT'S why you do it!
Cleo: Next, we will sauté the potatoes and onions until lightly browned.
Botan: Right. Lemme just crank the heat up to eleven and throw those puppies in!
Cleo: Those are not lightly browned, Botan. Those are burnt. They may actually be ash.
Botan: Yeah, I guess they are a bit crispy, huh? Still, that's better than being raw!
Cleo: Well, perhaps a deft touch with seasonings will cover up the flavor. Now then, turn off the heat, add the flour and butter, and mix. However, you only need to use—
Botan: A bunch, right? That's a measurement. HAVE A BUNCH, GRATIN! HAH!
Cleo: Botan! A bucket is NOT the preferred method for measuring out flour! You must be exacting and precise.
Botan: Aw, c'mon! It's fine to eyeball it, yeah?
Cleo: *sigh* I understand now why you are such a terrible cook. You rely far too much on approximation and...instinct.
Botan: What's that supposed to mean?!
Cleo: The recipe is solid. If you follow it to the letter, the end result will be delicious. Your failures are created by deviating from the recipe whenever you decide something "looks about right" or else is "close enough."
Botan: Yeah, but it's a huge pain to measure everything out with all those teeny little spoon dealies. Who needs that?!
Cleo: Recipes are all about mastering the basics of cooking. How can you improve if you refuse to master the basics?
Botan: Fiiiine! Fine. You got me.
Cleo: Then let us try again—FOLLOWING the recipe this time.
And so, Cleo hammered home the importance of recipes into Botan's mind. As a result...
Botan: Well? What do you think?
Cleo: *nibble* It tastes just like the recipe. By which I mean it is delicious.
Botan: Yay! I'm not terrible at cooking anymore!
Cleo: Surprisingly, you have an aptitude for it. So as long as you follow the instructions, I think your dishes can be successful.
Botan: Speaking of which, there's something I want to talk to you about...
Euden: Er, is Botan making dinner tonight? *gulp*
Botan: Wipe that terrified look off your face, mister! I'm gonna restore my good name!
Ranzal: Oh man, I'm gonna end up talkin' about this meal with a therapist...
Botan: No worries, chum! I'm a changed woman.
Cleo: I taught her the basics. She will not fail if she follows my instructions.
Botan: I won't make the same mistake I did last time. It's going to be GREAT!
Euden: In that case, I'm looking forward to it.
Botan: Then just sit back and wait for dinner!
Ranzal: Pssst! Cleo! Are ya SURE about this? Shouldn't ya watch in case she mistakes the sugar for cyanide or somethin'?
Cleo: The only way she can restore her culinary good name is by succeeding alone.
Euden: It's okay, Ranzal. Botan can do anything she puts her mind to.
Ranzal: I still ain't sure about this, but let's go train so we can work up an appetite.
A few hours later...
Euden: Phew! I'm starving.
Cleo: Mmm... Dinner smells lovely.
Botan: Hey, welcome back, guys! Er, so about dinner...
Ranzal: Hey, there's soup on the table—and it actually looks GOOD!
Botan: Ummm...
Cleo: Let us eat before it gets cold.
Euden: Spoons up, everyone!
Botan: Uuurgh...
Euden: Oh wow, this is GREAT! Now I'm really looking forward to the next course.
Ranzal: Hey, wait a sec. Where IS the next course?
Botan: This is...um...all we have.
Ranzal: Seriously? Just soup?
Botan: I'm sooooorry!
Cleo: I taught you a great number of recipes, Botan. What happened?
Botan: Well, I made the soup first, and I was SUPER careful to follow the recipe right down to the last teaspoon. I started cooking everything else and then concentrated back on the soup, and uh... Well, by the time the soup was done, everything else was kinda sorta...burnt.
Euden: I see. You were so focused on one thing that you neglected everything else.
Botan: Ugh! I want to crawl into a hole and die!
Cleo: You have a very analytical mind, which can sometimes cause a person to hone in on a single item. Don't let it get you down. We'll focus on multitasking during our next lesson.
Botan: Thank you, Cleo. But I'm still responsible, so I'm going to eat this charred brick of food as punishment!
Ranzal: No, Botan! I'll do it!
Botan: B-but Ranzal, it's...
Ranzal: Right now the walls of my empty belly are clangin' together, which is the best spice of all! Gimme! *chomp*
Cleo: Heh. It seems there's no need to worry, Botan; we've got someone more than happy to eat up your mistakes.
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